Tag: joke

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Failbook: Rock and LOL

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Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.

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Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states

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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

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Chuck Norris once leaned against a tower in Pisa, Italy.

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A mumbling grain farmer can barley be understood. Give him a rye look. #joke

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Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.
He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.
The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who “never knew he was kneaded.”
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven.

Funeral: 3:50 for 20 minutes.

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Not being able to iron out all of his problems made the dry cleaner very depressed.

punoftheday.com